Who Might Your Murderer Character Want to Kill Off (Besides Lawyers)? Six People Who May Just Need to be Murdered

When I teach at writers conferences about using the law in stories, sometimes writers have no idea how helpful the law can be. One of the ways the law can really help your story is the characters. If you’re writing a murder mystery, you need a victim. Who gets killed and why are central to your story. Now, everybody knows the first thing you do is kill all the lawyers (at least if you want to overthrow a government, as was the context of Shakespeare’s quote). So I won’t bore you with why lawyers make good murder victims. Res ipsa loquitur (the thing speaks for itself).

I want to talk about some other people operating in the legal system who move around enough or who have enough information that they might be asking to be killed off. I’m going to tell you about six of them, but my book, The Writer’s Guide to the Courtroom: Let’s Quill All the Lawyers, has loads of suggestions if you need more.

1. Legal secretaries handle scheduling, prepare some court notices, draft some minor court documents, prepare letters, type (although this is becoming less of the job now that most attorneys prepare their initial drafts on their own computers), transcribe (again, more and more rare), file, deal with client and opposing counsel calls, and keep the lawyer’s office running smoothly. You could have a legal secretary who steals a trust account check and the lawyer faces disbarment, or who knows the lawyer is the perpetrator of a giant ponzi scheme. Legal secretaries know everything about the attorney, so they make great witnesses, or blackmailers. Which makes them excellent murder victims.

2. Office managers handle the business and human resources end of the law practice. If your paralegal or legal secretary character starts mouthing off to the boss, the office manager may be the one to step in. Maybe he steps in front of a two-by-four wielded by a disgruntled secretary. Office managers can also be used in your story to do the dirty work: getting rid of staff, hiding documents, moving people from department to department to keep any one person from knowing too much. Does this get them killed? Do they embezzle the trust money? They will probably have passwords and access to the firm’s accounts. Frequently seen in larger firms, this role is now being handled in midsize and smaller firms by someone trained in either accounting or administration. Could your office manager character be quietly figuring out how to retire? Could she be undercover trying to bring in a crooked attorney? Or did she fail to end up in witness protection before the mobster client whacked her?

3. Notaries witness and put their seal on signatures to verify that they obtained good identification from the person signing and that the signature is true, and certify copies of documents as being true copies. They can give oaths and perform wedding ceremonies. Banks, law firms, and copy centers frequently have staff notaries. Did your dishonest notary put a piece of property in their own name? Did they notarize a document with lots of white space and turn it into a will in their favor? Or, do they know uncover a forgery? Notaries can be witnesses to all kinds of fraud in your stories. They could be on the run, in witness protection, or a murder victim.

Unscrupulous notaries can use the Spanish translation, “notario” to bilk unsuspecting immigrants. The term notario can refer to a lawyer or someone of similar stature in some countries. Many notarios engage in the unauthorized practice of law here in the U.S. This comes up frequently in immigration fraud scams. Is your character an illegal immigrant who thought they were legal? Did the notario’s scam get them deported? Might be a motive for murder.

4. The judicial assistant, or JA, handles scheduling of hearings, trials, and other court proceedings. They usually handle and mark the evidence when it is admitted. In other words, they are the judge’s right arm. The demeanor of a judicial assistant is usually a good reflection of the demeanor of the judge. Dealing with a great JA is one of the great pleasures of legal secretaries, paralegals and lawyers. A nasty or incompetent JA can make legal life miserable. Your characters can show up to hearings that aren’t on the calendar, sit in the courtroom for hours as proceedings run late, have courtesy copies of motions and cases that were sent to the judge well in advance suddenly lost, and other JA-caused tribulations. Could drive anyone over the brink, couldn’t it? The JA could also witness bribery, threats, or jury tampering, which means they could blackmail a lawyer or judge. We know what happens to blackmailers and people who know too much, don’t we?

5. Process servers hand court documents to people who don’t want them. Lawsuits, orders to testify in court or bring documents, or orders to stop doing something, your characters won’t be happy to see a process server. Many people try to evade process servers, who have to get clever to serve those individuals. Fake pizza deliveries, exterminators, pulling fire alarms, could be used to humorous advantage in a story. Or get your process server killed. Most people realize that the process server is just doing their job. The likely reaction of your character served with a suit is to thank the process server. Boring, but accurate. But maybe they see the character with a mistress. Many process servers are also private investigators, and some have law enforcement backgrounds. Having a character who moves around lots, who is observant, and who knows something about the law could come in handy in all kinds of creative ways, couldn’t it? Or do they know too much?

6. A court reporter’s job is to write down every word said in court, listen to every word of every legal proceeding they cover, and be able to write it down accurately. A missed word can be catastrophic to a trial. Imagine the deposition transcript in your story with an omitted “not” or “no.” Or with the wrong speaker listed. What if a court reporter hates your attorney character because he broke up with her? She might decide to change the words. Court reporters are almost invisible. During breaks, lawyers and witnesses forget they’re even there, so court reporters hear all kinds of things they probably shouldn’t. You can have one hear a death threat or blackmail. If someone prone to murderous rage suddenly realizes the court reporter was present, who knows what might happen?

Some others who might be in a position to blackmail or witness something they shouldn’t have seen are bailiffs, runners/messengers, and paralegals. We all know that the motives for murder can be complex or simple, funny or horrible. Murder mystery writers need to choose their victims carefully.

Hopefully now you have some more ideas on who your murderer needs to knock off. The rest, my friends, is up to you. Happy writing!

8/22/10 Writing and Publishing News

Where the Law and Literature Meet
16 authors sue vanity publisher for deceptive practices: http://www.indystar.com/article/20100818/BUSINESS/8180323/1003/BUSINESS/Suit-by-16-authors-claims-deception-by-book-publisher

Libel tourism bill signed into law: http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5jeNqZbaTbimE1aUCRkkqHq1kl2xQ

Is ignorance of the copyright violation a defense? We’ll find out soon: http://www.betanews.com/article/Innocent-Infringer-copyright-defense-for-downloaders-goes-to-US-Supreme-Court/1282317133

BBC wants to keep driver from revealing his secret identity in a book. Legal stuff ensues: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/7953303/BBC-lawyers-fight-to-keep-Top-Gears-The-Stig-secret.html

If you’re a Macmillan author, don’t sign that e-rights amendment without getting advice from your agent or lawyer: http://pubrants.blogspot.com/2010/08/publishers-behaving-badly-again.html



More writing and publishing links

Wanna be a bestseller? Announce the proceeds are going to charity: http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/aug/17/tony-blair-book-preorder-sales

The art of book thievery: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/7903230/The-love-of-the-high-end-heist.html

Who are the 10 best paid authors? Pretty much who you’d think: http://www.forbes.com/2010/08/19/patterson-meyer-king-business-media-highest-paid-authors.html

Writers get revenge: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704554104575435531552525078.html?mod=WSJ_LifeStyle_LeadStoryNA

Seth Godin to go completely digital, abandon traditional publishing: http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/authors/new_york_times_bestseller_seth_godin_to_no_longer_publish_books_traditionally_171395.asp

Authors oppose censorship of Blair signing: http://www.thebookseller.com/news/126323-free-speech-campaigners-back-waterstones-over-blair.html

Ellen Hopkins uninvited due to censorship: http://www.stltoday.com/entertainment/books-and-literature/book-blog/article_65e5a834-ab19-11df-8f0b-00127992bc8b.html

Was a well-known children’s author a baby murderer?: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/20/mummified-babies-peter-pan_n_689052.html

Who Might Your Murderer Character Want to Kill Off (Besides Lawyers)? Six People Who May Just Need to be Murdered

I did a guest blog post today for Angela Cerrito’s blog on Who Might Your Murderer Character Want to Kill Off (Besides Lawyers)? Six People Who May Just Need to be Murdered.


If you haven't checked out Angela Cerrito's blog, it's a wonderful place to learn all kinds of things about writing. Her Middle Grade Novel, The End of the Line, is forthcoming from Holiday House. I met her in a writers’ workshop, which proves that these workshops are worthwhile!

BAILIFFS CAN MAKE GREAT CHARACTERS IN YOUR STORY

I want to talk about some people operating in the legal system who move around enough or who have enough information that they might be useful to your stories. I’m going to tell you about them every once in a while. My book The Writer’s Guide to the Courtroom: Let’s Quill All the Lawyers has loads of suggestions if you need more.

Today, I’ll talk about bailiffs.

Bailiffs keep order in the court. If your character’s cell phone goes off, if there is talking, or if someone gets violent, the bailiff is the one who will remove the offending party. They see and hear everything that goes on in court. It’s their job is to observe.

As characters, they can be witnesses, blackmailers, or heroes. They protect the judges if there is any violence, and they protect the jurors, witnesses, and lawyers as well. They frequently have to lend a hand checking lawyers in for hearings, handling evidence, calling witnesses in, and other administrative tasks.

One of my favorite things about bailiffs is they escort the jury to and from the jury room, and stay outside the door to make sure they stay safe, sequestered, and get what they need. This means they are in a great place to observe any shenanigans that take place during jury deliberations.

Some of what a bailiff might witness in your story:

• Death threats among lawyers, witnesses or parties
• Physical altercations (even murder)
• Bribery
• Judge’s misbehavior
• Ex-parte communications with judge
• Text messages he’s not supposed to see (since he has to tell people to turn off phones)
• Switching exhibits
• Jury tampering
• Jurors checking the internet or talking to people about the case
• Juror arguments (it gets tough being with the same people for long periods)
• Notes or other items being passed to jurors
• Tampering with juror food
• All kinds of conversations, either before hearings/trials or on breaks
• People coming and going at the courthouse

Observation of any of the above can go any way your imagination takes you. For instance, a greedy bailiff could uncover a note that went to a juror from one of the attorneys in the middle of a trial. Instead of taking it to the judge, does he go to the lawyer and ask to be paid off? Does the lawyer pay him, or does the blackmailing get him killed.

Or, your bailiff could stumble upon her judge taking a bribe. Does she ask to be cut in? Take it to the police? End up dead?

A heroic bailiff could uncover an attempt to assassinate a defendant. He could throw himself between the victim and the bullet. Does he get a huge reward or end up in a lawsuit against the city for poor security? Does he become a media darling and run for office? Does he end up paralyzed and sad? Maybe that makes him an ideal hero for a romance novel. Or is he killed? Children’s writers looking to knock off parents might start their story a year after he dies. How does your protag deal with a heroic death of a parent?

In a sci fi or fantasy, you have to build a new world. You could have a bailiff observing and participating in your brave new justice system, show us how it works. After all, the individual rights and responsibilities of your invented society will affect your characters’ daily lives.

So, to recap, bailiffs observe and move around the courthouse in places most people can’t go. That makes them useful to any story needing a witness, murder victim, blackmailer, or hero.